It's time for the 53rd annual Miss Boston Barmaid contest, and this year it's being held at Cheers again, but Sam's not happy. The contest organizers have changed the format where beauty, chest size and overall bimbo-ness account for nothing, but rather it's a contest of true waitressing skills. Despite this, Carla is not interested in entering - she knows she can be the best waitress in the world if she wants to be (self-admittedly, her "friendliness" quotient is a bit lacking) and doesn't need anyone to tell her so - until she learns that first prize is a new Mazda Miata convertible. She will do anything to win that car. On the day of the contest, she obtains a confidential document naming the three judges, one of whom is none other that Cheers' own Cliff Clavin. Norm convinces Carla that to win the contest, Carla has to be nice to Cliff, not exactly the easiest thing in the world to do for Carla. Cliff treats Carla like a buddy, asking her to do small, or not so small favors for him, like giving him a back massage, ultimately while he's shirtless, and later a foot massage. But Norm keeps flashing the picture of the Miata in front of her to keep her going. Just as the contest is about to start, Carla learns that Cliff is not one of the judges - the document she has is a phony obviously made up by Cliff. Cliff is dead meat, but first Carla has a Miata to win. During the contest, Carla is the expert waitress, displaying feats of extraordinary waitressing acumen. Even when one of the other contestants tries literally to trip up Carla, Carla turns this into a acrobatic act worthy of a gymnast. Just before the emcee is about to announce the winner, Carla admits that Cliff's stunt helped her since she focused all her negative energies toward him into the contest, and she's pretty sure she'll win. The emcee ultimately announces the winner: Shawnee Wilson, the one who spilled the most drinks, but the biggest bimbo with the biggest boobs in the contest. Apparently the contest has changed in paper only, and the criteria for winning remains the same as it always has. Despite being sad for his friend Carla, Sam feels all is again right with the world in that it is a contest for bimbos. Paradoxically, Carla at least won the Miss Congeniality prize.
Ted Danson, Woody Harrelson, Shelley Long, Kelsey Grammer, Kirstie Alley